For the love of GOD and commerce

I often wonder what I would write about if I was a SAHM or a goat farmer (*wink, Pricilla). Would I possibly have enough to write about? I suppose I could get through, but then I come back to reality and remember that I am a big "D", the president and CEO of all things created equal and fruity in design. Somehow, like church is to Sundays, they ALL find their way to ME. The delusional crazies that are so fond of finding their way down the yellow brick road to my pristine little shop. Apparently I have the competence and know-how to attract them all.

It was a Friday. My parents were in town. My goal was to leave early. I had a plan and goal. Like a Friday before vacation I was checking my list off with great determination. Then the POS system crashed. (for those of you not cool enough to be a designer this equals enormous, horrific panic. How cool is that?!) Without this system I cannot make sales. Ok, no problem I will just lock the door. I was committed. Heading for the door with key in hand up pulled a brand new 430LS lexus. She gracefully appeared from the car in the sleekest fashion. Louis Vuitton bag in hand she glided to the door. CRAP! Holy crap! CRAP! Ok, no need to panic. I will just explain to her the situation, and she will understand. Right?

She entered into the shop with what looked to be disgust, or maybe it was just constipation. She perused around examining, glancing, and inspecting. Then a pillow caught her eye. (OH NO! How did that get back onto the floor, I thought?!!) This wasn't just any pillow. It was a shantung silk gold pillow that I had ALLOWED a shopper to take home "on approval". While I was out of town the shopper brought it back, STAINED! The girls didn't notice so they allowed the shopper to return it. I noticed immediately that the pillow was ruined and pulled it from inventory. BUT THERE IT WAS!! On the floor, in the prickly hands of a cranky, insatiable wasp.

I ran over to her and apologized immediately. "Im so sorry, this was pulled from inventory due to a stain, I don't feel comfortable selling it to you". Her instant response, "I will give you $2 for it." WHAT! Excuse me? Where on God's green earth did that come from? Does she really think Im going to sell her a $68 pillow for $2? In an instant my tact turned off and I spun around jarred, and disgusted. "So sorry but I would rather get them cleaned and use them in my own home" With pinched lips she said " So you won't sell it to me?" (Uh, no you malign, rude, crab I wont.) " Not for $2, no." I said to her. Pissed off, I wanted her to leave. I had a PLAN, and CHECKLIST to attend to. "So how much would you sell them to me for?" For the love of God, good God! what is this ladies PROBLEM?! "If you really want them I will sell them to you at my COST of $34."... "$34!" She regurgitated "Thats awfully expensive for a stained pillow" (no shit lady, thats why they were suppose to be pulled from inventory, THEY AREN'T FOR SALE!) After what seemed like FOREVER, she left. I locked the door annoyed and irritable but thankful she had left.

I enjoyed a lovely weekend with my parents and saw them off on Monday. By Wednesday I had fallen ill and by Thursday I had decided to close the shop. Lying in bed, DYING a slow death, my cell phone rang. "hello, this is amanda", "hi this is pillow lady, Im at your store and the door is locked, I need in so I can buy the pillows" (this cannot be happening, am I in the twilight zone?) I made my way to the store the next day. I wrapped the pillows up and waited for her arrival with exuberant, and excited anticipation like the plague. And so help me God if she made one false move I decided I would puke on her. She finally arrived just after noon. "oh I didn't want both pillows, just one of them!" Ok, deep, deep breaths. Ease and grace, finding the CALM within. I can do this. I unwrapped the TWO pillows and sold her ONE. Once again, I locked the door annoyed and irritable but thankful she had left.

I presume that everyone has to encounter a little "crazy" in an 8oz dose each week. I decided that this scenario shoved me at warp speed to 32oz and I was good to the end of the month. I was done with "crazy" at least until October. Finally feeling like a human I went in to work on Saturday to catch-up. As I approached my desk I saw the invoice with a posty note. This lady called on Friday about a pillow. Wants to know if she buys both pillows if she would get a BETTER discount. Can you call her and let her know? Thanks B. For the love of God and commerce! Lord have mercy, bring me closer to Jesus, before I kill someone!... But then I come back to reality and remember that I am the big "D", the president and CEO of all things created equal and FRUITY in design. Somehow, like church is to Sundays, they ALL find their way to ME.

TARGET TUESDAY!

I swear if it wasn't for this weekly Target Tuesday commitment I would forget to come on here! As my friend and fellow Band of Barbies blogger Kristen says, Im a psycho blogger! But since business has picked up I have found it harder to get on here. Typically Im a psycho, stalking blogger with a big D on my chest (stands for DESIGNER for the new kids on the block.) I have insomnia, and I tend to have a little of the A.D.D, which makes a winning combination for the multitasking, lunatic designing blogger that I am. Or shall I say WAS. I still have the A.D.D, and I still have the insomnia but for some reason my desire and excitement has drifted. I know it is absolutely preposterous! How could someone possibly lose the interest, the desire to blog? It could be the A.D.D. I do tend to get bored quickly. Bouncing off the walls Im jumping from fabric, phone calls, emails, accessory selection and in an instant, like a tunnel visioned puppy, SQUIRREL!!!! I drop the ball and run like a foolish inefficient wacko to the grey chipmunk up the tree. Wait, what was I doing? I think I was in the middle of an email, or was it fabric? I don't have a clue, but aren't squirrels cute? I love how they play and run in the trees like a jungle gym, or is that chipmunks? I love Alvin. He is so funny. Who ever thought to make a cartoon out of them is a genius.......(So you catch the drift of how my typical day transpires.)

It never seems to amaze me that by the end of the day I am whirling in the aftermath of my days tornado. What on gods green earth did I do today? I have been busy as a mad hatter and yet nothing is done. Guess that will go to tomorrows to-do list. It may be kooky and I do have a tendency to be a high energy fruitcake but that's what keeps them coming back for more. I never loose my cool, and somehow someway my girls come through for me and make me look like a designer hero! With a big D on my chest. So for todays Target Tuesday Im going to focus on designer day planners. I usually have three or four of these suckers going on at one time. Why you ask do I need three or four...well that is because they tend to disappear for a day or two so I just start with a fresh one, until the old one pops up, makes perfect, efficient, organized sense.

I may sound like an undomesticated horse that needs training. ( And if you asked my husband he would probably agree) I may even sound a tad disheveled. But once I write something down, it is permanently carved into my brain. I don't know how it works, but I manage to remember everything. I always know what's ordered, when it is expected, who needs what, and whats to come. As long as I write it down once. So my fancy little designer planners won't be little at all. They will be at least 9x12 in size. Makes it easier to find. They will be in BRIGHT colors, also easy to find. They will have fun patterns on them and enclosed you will find lined paper and blank paper. Designers don't like restrictions or to be confined by rules so two kinds of paper gives us options. They will have pockets on the inside sleeves for additional notes, IMPORTANT posty notes, and business cards. And just to fancy it up in designer fashion I will gold and silver leaf the edges of paper. That just may discourage me from loosing it. Doubtful, but I can always make a lousy attempt with a smile on my face PROMISING my girls that I will do it.....or maybe or wont! Happy Target Tuesday!!

Under the weather, in a ditch

Abby the Tabby AKA: Abracadabra, or AB TAB

Inky: AKA: The Hippo
Why must mom decorate me? Well it's attention, so I will go with it.
Oh my god I love boxes. All boxes. I love paper, and boxes. Big boxes, little boxes, and I love all paper!! And by the way, you cannot see me, Im in stealth mode. Highly secretive operation here.

Im feeling under the weather and in a ditch today. I was under the bridge yesterday too. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING hurts. And to make matters worse my stomach feels like it is on fire, a volcano with built up frustration and anger bubbling further into aggravation. I cant decide if I want to sit, stand, or lay down. It is too hard to make such a decision in this state. Im agitated, and irritable, and then five seconds later I want to cry in defeat. Maybe my husband is right. It would be much easier to go out back and just shoot me. At least all of this would be over.

I missed work yesterday. My girls do not come in on Thursdays. So the shop was closed. I made the mistake of leaving my cell number on the door. I swear to heaven on earth if I received one more call from a damn delivery truck, irate and cranky, wanting to deliver goods I was going to shoot THEM! Despite my dissatisfaction I made the decision to come in today. Pointless. Im sitting here at the computer practically drooling in irritation and discomfort. I can barely move. My girls will be here in an hour. I cannot wait. Although I don't know why. I will just go home and be irritated in discomfort and all ALONE at home. In a universe that is so complex and organized why must we get illness? Couldn't GOD just skip over this part? At any rate if you haven't caught my drift, Im miserable. So I guess I will take my irritable, cranky pants home and sulk. Oh and one more thing. Why is it when you feel this way the worst, and I mean the WORST television is on? I already feel crappy. Do I really need to flip through infomercials of the snuggie, Billy Mayes, and Tony Robbins? To make us all feel better Im posting three of my favorite things, abby the tabby, inky AKA: the hippo, and Nike, A.K.A: big bear/big kitty/Nike no toes (no toes comes from the fact that he has NEVER been able to jump because his toes don't work) But I love him anyways! Awww dont these make you smile? They make me feel a weee bit better.

Nike AKA: Big bear/ Big kitty/ Nike no toes (he weighs 20 lbs!! Isn't he C-U-T-E!)

Off to Babylon where the pie don't taste so sweet..

About a month ago the lovely and wonderful Vicente Wolf wrote a post about client behavior. Clients tend to have high expectations from their designers. However, they don't always want to pay for the work required to get from point A to point B. Thus clients are prone to unrealistic, impractical, and often times unfeasible assumptions. They anticipate a storyboard of ideas and a jaw dropping presentation and soon drop their eagerness to move forward when the bill comes in the mail. "what! You want me to PAY for the time you spend to put together a presentation?" After awhile I got used to the response, but I have also become callous in my own expectations.

For those of you new to the design block, the bulk of a design project happens in the beginning stages of a project. Countless hours go into research, space-planning, color analysis, furniture, fabrics, lighting, and sifting through hundreds of books, materials and samples. I have personally invested over 30 hours doing research just to redo one room. I want the space to be perfect in design, concept and function. And like any research it is about experimentation and discovery. Once the materials and ideas are pulled, it needs to be structured and organized in an efficient and methodical order to best show the client the "vision". Countless hours!

Despite years of presentations, it still surprises me when I get the client that refuses to pay for this. They want to meet with two or three designers, to choose the BEST one. That is fine by me, but you will pay me for my TIME. I often try to put it in perspective for them. "Would you go into work an hour early and stay an hour late every day, without pay, because your boss wants to SEE if you are the best one?" Funny enough they always have an answer that favors their point over mine.

I will never understand why people do not respect this profession. I have a college education, in DESIGN, and I earn a living on my TIME. How do you suppose I pay my girls, my rent, my electric bill, my phone bill....?? By giving it away?? Afraid not. In order for me to pay my overhead, and carry the products I carry it takes money. The magical green paper that solves all the world problems. So the next time you want to drag me to Babylon and back, where the pie don't taste so sweet, think twice, because I have grown very weary of travel and Im real tired of bad pie. Remember dear clients, we live in the south where EVERYTHING takes butter, sugar and love to taste better.

Half assed TARGET Tuesday!

Im sure ALL of you have noticed I have been on Hi-A-tus. (That's just fun to say!) I wish I could say I was on hiatus doing something fun, entertaining and full of jolly saint nick. But to everyone's disappointment, including my own, it has simply been repetitive, monotony I call life and work. Throw in a little visit from the family and I catch the garden variety "momentary" insanity that pushes it's way front and center. Such insanity contributes to jarring side effects that eliminate any good F-U-N like blogging, sleeping, or eating. Have I mentioned how much I love eating and sleeping? Have I mentioned how much I LOVE butter and sugar?Did you know that when you mix them they taste EVEN better!!??

Ok, so we are severely off track. I suppose it is to be expected when I haven't blogged in a week and my mind is racing in a hamster wheel at warp speed. Im going to attempt to stay on track, as best I can, and focus on my beloved Target. This week I would like to work on Vases. Now Target generally has a fairly good selection of vases. BUT not all year round. And they are typically all clear. Can we say BORING? I like anything in glass to have personality, style, and color. Clear glass can be attractive if the style has a screaming personality. I love vases that have a combination of colors that are tastefully done and decorative. Some vases get a little crazy with the confetti glass and make me turn the other way in the isle and RUN!

My vases will be contemporary and tastefully done. I will offer a range of sizes, styles, and colors. I will have vases that are purely decorative and I will offer vases that are functional. My vases will work with any style decor and they will be very easy to decorate with. The best part will be the flowers your significant other brings home to put in the new vase! Or you can streak the neighborhood in a wild rampage, grabbing flowers along the way, ripping them from trees, bushes and gardens to fill in your perfect and stylish Target vase.