The queen of clutter and bibles

Mrs X's Kitchen before
Mrs X's Kitchen after
Mrs X's Dining room before
Mrs X's Dining after

As a designer I am often invited into peoples homes that are, lets say for tact, undesirable decorating disasters, or as I like to call them UDD's. Hence the reason for my my being there. I often overlook these minor indiscretions because I am there to make magic! Change the way you live, and change your outlook; with super women herself as my partner I take down the world in it's orbit and change everyones "ugly" one space at time! After all I am a DESIGNER, a mystical, creative, creature; the thing legends are made of ....or at least that is what I tell myself.

One afternoon I received a call. Her name, Mrs X. Im looking for a new lease on life. I need change, and you can give it to me! Well of course I can. Im a DESIGNER, I have the business card to prove it!

The house was a disaster. I soon learned that Mrs. X was the Queen of clutter and BIBLES. How many Damn bibles can one person own? Does GOD have something different to say in each one? Have her sins been redeemed merely for owning this many bibles? Does she have one for each 7 deadly sins, for which she obviously over counted? Maybe she has reduced guilt with each proof of purchase.

Perplexed and a bit overwhelmed I got to work. She needed change and ORGANIZATION. Where to start? With GOD of course! We donated the books to charity and the local churches.
We threw away 10 years of unnecessary instant gratification purchases. And just when I thought we would see the light of day.....another damn bible would surface. This woman had industrial strength BIBLE envy, or one hell of a sales man at Lifeway! Either way, one bible is sufficient and I don't think HE will think any less if you ONLY own one!

A year has gone by since I helped out Mrs X. She recently invited me over to review a new set of house plans. I was delighted for the opportunity. As a gag gift I brought her a jar of "wash away your sins" soap. Easy to use, reduces guilt, and who couldn't see the added value of it's convenient size? We giggled in laughter. So proud and glorious, with my DESIGNER flag flying high I felt victorious and over joyed. After all I am a DESIGNER, a mystical, creative, creature; the thing legends are made of ....

I reviewed the new built-in pantry. It was fabulous. But I felt we needed it a bit larger. Before I could make that decision I needed to take stock of all her beautiful antique china. "Oh no need to go in there" she tells me. Hmmmm.....really?? Why? So I snuck into Mrs X's current china pantry only to guessed it; a stack of freshly bound, still in wrappers, new bibles. In all shapes and sizes. Apparently my road to recovery will be a long, and sinful one!

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